We Can Rationalize Anything
But that doesn't mean we have to!
In 2019, amidst outrage over the Sackler family’s involvement in the opioid crisis, the Met decided to stop accepting gifts from members of the Sackler family, one of its largest donors. At the time, an acquaintance of a friend of mine was working in member relations at the Met, fielding calls from a divided member base. Some were upset that the Met took dirty money (presumably, these outraged callers never visited the “Sackler Wing”), while others were upset that they were turning down donations that could better the museum.
After hearing about all the calls, my friend asked where this member relations acquaintance stood on the matter. Their response was, “I don’t know, I guess you can rationalize anything.” I love this non-answer so much and tell this story all the time because I think the realization that we can rationalize anything, but don’t have to, is quite freeing. I am not implying that I am free from this misguided obligation, certainly not, but to know that it’s an option is enlightening.
In my last essay, I wrote about a framework I was using to evaluate potential career opportunities. Like many of the other things I’ve written, it helped me think through an idea. Specifically, the pressure of putting something out in the world, with my name attached, requires me to think a little deeper about what I’m saying. In that same essay, I said I’d have an update by the next time you heard from me. Well, here we are. Sort of.
The first draft of this post was a long-winded update, laden with details guaranteed to be uninteresting to most. It read like one big.. rationalization. So I scrapped the whole thing. And wrote this instead.
When I told my girlfriend that I scrapped it for the aforementioned reason, she very astutely pointed out that it “probably felt good to write your feelings out.” She was right. Writing it all out and reading it back—a sort of grammatically correct and legible journal entry—did feel good.
Of course, this doesn’t answer why I felt the need to rationalize (I know why), but it helps me get a step closer to not doing it at all. The update, by the way: I am going to work in my family’s insurance business, joining both of my parents and my sister. A family affair.
The Curious, Astounding Collection of the Magician Ricky Jay
I’m a huge fan of people who I know of for one thing and then discover that they are equally good at another thing. Gabrielle Hamitlon is one. I knew of her as a chef and restauranteur and then discovered she is an immensely talented writer. Ricky Jay is another. I knew of Jay as a character actor favored by some of my favorite directors, like David Mamet (Heist, State and Main) and Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, Magnolia). It was only later that I learned that he was a renowned magician. And it was only this week (thanks to the story above) that I found that Jay amassed an incredible collection of tricks and other magical ephemera that is being auctioned by Sotheby’s
—Justin
D.S. & Durga Big Sur After Rain Candle
One of my favorite, surprisingly pleasant experiences is going to a bathroom in a public place and thinking “wow, this bathroom smells good.” It’s far more enjoyable than the alternative. I can tell you the three best smelling restaurant bathrooms I’ve been in this year and one of them was Public Records this past Sunday, where I met Big Sur After Rain and let’s just say it was add-to-cart at first smell (hot tip: always let things sit in the cart for a day or two to let the abandoned cart discounts come in).
—Andrew
Design Within Reach on eBay
As much of an aesthete as I consider myself to be, I am also notoriously cheap. Those two traits exist in eternal competition with each other. For years, the joke about the furniture store Design Within Reach has been that the prices are, in fact, far from within reach. So while I’ve always appreciated DWR’s curation of mid century modern designs, I’ve been reluctant to pay full boat for any pieces. But after many years (way before the pandemic) of working from home, I finally decided I needed a proper office chair. I settled on the Herman Miller Sayl, and was regularly checking Craigslist for any used ones. The ones I found in good condition and good prices would quickly get snatched up. Then I checked eBay and discovered that Design Within Reach operates a branded outlet on the platform. I found a new one with a barely noticeable scuff on the seat for 34% off, and now have a Sayl headed my way. May the wind be at its back. (Bad joke, sorry.)
—Justin