Why I Suck
The things you learn when you can’t breathe.
On Monday, I got choked.
Last Friday, I got choked, too. Ditto for last Thursday and Tuesday.
I started Brazilian jiu-jitsu training in the winter of 2020 but didn’t last very long because of the pandemic. I recently returned to the Renzo Gracie Fight Academy in Greenpoint and have been consistently getting my ass absolutely kicked in a myriad of different, and often painful, ways. Choked, arm barred, flipped. I suck at Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
And that’s exactly the point.
I think it is very important to always suck at something. No matter your age or stage of life, starting at square one in something is beneficial.
It isn’t easy. Sucking at something requires going to new places and meeting new people, which can be intimidating. (It definitely is for me.) It also means a serious ego check. You are not going to be good at first. That is very humbling, especially if you’ve reached a point where there are other things you could be doing that you are, in fact, good at.
But the reasons why it isn’t easy are also the exact same reasons why it’s worth doing. You get to go to new places and meet new people. You get to be humbled.
The most important benefit, however, is that you get to improve. And those early improvements when you truly suck at something are really amazing. The more advanced you are, the harder it can be to recognize small wins and thus celebrate them. You don’t have that problem when you suck. Every little step feels like a giant one.
And there’s nothing like that feeling of excitement you feel when you accomplish something when you suck. It can be a feeling you spend years trying to reconnect with. There’s a reason that Buddhism talks about fostering a “beginner’s mind,” and that veteran surfers are jealous of “frothing groms and their stoke levels”
When I first started snowboarding, I rode crappy equipment on crappy mountains with crappy snow. And I couldn’t have been happier. Linking a few turns felt like solving some ancient mystery. These days, I get a little jaded if the powder isn’t ankle-deep.
With jiu-jitsu, I feel the same way I did during those early snowboarding days. I’m hopeful that I’ll progress. But those fleeting moments during the suck phase when I’ve been the choker and not the chokee will always be stand-out memories.
And if I do advance, I’ll know exactly what to do next: Find something new to suck at.
Fire Shut Up In My Bones
Before going to see this, I had never been to The Metropolitan Opera, or any opera for that matter. But I have seen Spike Lee’s films. Lee’s movies are the only ones where I ever notice the score, which are the result of the director’s long-running collaboration with composer Terrence Blanchard. So when I saw that Blanchard had created this opera based on the memoir by Times opinion columnist Charles M. Blow, I was ready to make my opera debut. And I’m very glad I did.
—Justin
Nancy Whang on Her Great Nothing and Losing the LCD Bible
I’m a very new LCD fan, relative to the band at least (2018 first show). In the past year—since moving to Brooklyn really—I’ve done a decent job consuming most of the LCD-related content. I’m fascinated by the DFA Records story, the formation of LCD, and the surrounding drama. But as Nancy points out in this interview, “James is the mouth,” so it’s nice to hear from “the most important woman in music” (interviewer’s words) about what she’s been up to in the past year. I’ve got tickets to the last show on 12/21, but I’ll probably make my way to at least one other. You should too.
—Andrew
‘Black Rabbit’ – Prince Fatty & Shniece Mcmenamin
I like to put on Late Night Tales Mixes before bed, with a candle lit (see last week’s rec I’ve been burning this week) and absolutely zero overhead lighting. I usually set a 30-minute sleep timer in the Sonos app and tuck my phone away for the night. Earlier this week, I was listening to Don Letts’ recent mix as I was dozing off and this Jefferson Airplane cover came on. Out of fear that I may forget it the next day, I got up out of bed, grabbed my phone, and saved it to my library. Now I’m sharing it here. That’s the type of guy I am. Don’t tell Matthew Walker.